Harmony Designed

Start where you are.

Here I am again, sitting in a bookstore. As I glance over at a shelf of books, one title jumps out at me and lingers in my mind. “Start Where You Are.” It’s something about starting a journal. But where it hit me was in my current state of indecisiveness. You see, having been “off career,” unemployed, no longer working, or just plain retired for over a year now, I can say that sometimes having too many options, too many opportunities can result in total indecisiveness and paralysis. Let me clarify.

While I love the slower pace and getting to choose how I spend every day without competing obligations, I would also like to find my next “thing.” For example, should I commit to a volunteer position, but then that begs the question “to what do I volunteer my time.” Or should I change my fitness routine substantially in order to amp up my energy and strength to new levels, or dedicate myself to a new creative pursuit – say oil painting, or should I register for classes at a local college, or . . . ?

See what I mean? So many options. So few decisions.

Which one do I do? Where do I start?

In all honesty, while I definitely want to do everything, I also don’t want to give up my freedom. I still bristle at the idea of being or feeling mandated to a particular schedule.

I wonder if my resistance is just part of the “still early days” of not working, or am I slipping into a persistent mode of “this girl just wants to have fun.” And if I am, is there anything really wrong with that?

I recently read an article from a friend that basically ripped my generation of Boomers apart for being self-centered, narcissistic, society-and-earth-destroying creatures from another planet. And as much as I don’t want to admit it, I did find some truth in it, and in that truth, guilt.

So even though I am relishing the freedom and play nowadays, I yearn to be of value, to be of service. And not only to assuage the guilt of my generation’s missteps, but because I know I have a lot to give. A lot to share.

This issue came up among friends over the weekend, and one friend said, “yeah, it’s hard to know what to do next, and the time we have is shorter at this age, so it’s imperative that we make a decision and do something!”

So true. But still hard to know where to start.

Hence the book title that got to me: Start Where You Are.

Giving the book a little credit for getting me started, I’ve decided to take another look at journaling. Why not? I’m ready for any tool to help me out of this monkey-mind-chattering of what to do/what not to do.

I used to be a dedicated journaler . . . for years I recorded my thoughts, activities, feelings, yearnings, and goals in a daily journal. Over time, I became less and less committed until the entire effort fell by the wayside. Maybe now’s the time to reconsider.

I did a little research about the benefits of journaling and found an article in Psychology Today that spoke to when it’s most useful and beneficial to journal. Here’s a snapshot.

Journaling can have a positive effect on your behavior and well-being if it:

  • Makes you step back and evaluate your thoughts, emotions, and behavior
  • Explores solutions
  • Brings your emotions and motivations into alignment with your deepest values
  • Helps you take a definite course of action.

Now we’re talking.

I also read about keeping a journal of “Happy Moments” in which you write just before bed each night about your happiest moment from that day. I love that idea, too, and think it could shed some light on those simple things that bring you joy and might get overlooked in the busy-ness of life.

Start Where You Are. I get it. I’m thinking this journaling thing is the right next step for me. Maybe the writing, doodling, and collaging of my feeling/thoughts/confusion in one place will help clarify a few things for me.

It’s worth a try.

So there you go. Start where you are.

One last thing, just so you know I’m not one of those completely self-absorbed humans, I never, ever forget that having “too many options and too many opportunities” is something to be grateful for and humbled by.

Are you waiting to Start Where You Are?

Till next time,

Judy

Don’t look behind the curtain!

Last month, I was talking to a friend whose husband has been retired for a few years now. She was telling me that when people ask what he’s been doing, or how he fills his days, he wants to say – “I’m great, loving life. Just don’t look behind the curtain!” View Post

Are you a Super-Ager?

By “definition,” a super-ager does most things right as it pertains to living a healthy, happy, long life. For instance, they exercise regularly, they eat right (for the most part), and they surround themselves with loved ones and stimulating/fulfilling activities and interests.

On top of that, they use their brains . . . actually, they really push their brains.

Brain research has found that the areas of the brain that are considered “emotional,” such as the regions of the limbic system, are major hubs for general communication throughout the brain. The thicker these regions of cortex are, the better a person’s performance on tests of memory and attention.

So which activities, if any, will increase your chances of remaining mentally sharp into old age? Well, the best answer, according to the research, is to work hard at something. Whether the effort is physical or mental, you can help keep these regions of the brain thick and healthy through vigorous exercise and bouts of strenuous mental effort. And when you tire of the effort or feel discomfort, that’s the time to push past the temporary unpleasantness. Brain tissue gets thinner from disuse, so remember: If you don’t use it, you lose it!

One last thing, and this is a big one and possibly the most difficult, is to choose your words carefully. Really, no kidding.

Our self-talk is extraordinarily powerful, and often, it is so habitual that we’re not fully conscious of the negative, or positive, effect it has on our lives or our bodies.

Women are especially good at tearing ourselves down for not being thin enough, smart enough, assertive enough, brave enough, young enough, and “insert any other judgment here” enough from your personal stash.

So before we speak or think or listen to or write another negative word, consider this from the book “Within” by Dr. Habib Sadeghi.

“We’ve learned that everything in the universe is energy in different states of vibration. Therefore, everything has its own frequency, like a guitar string that is plucked and creates a specific musical note. We also know that words have very powerful vibrations based on how they make us feel. This is why it’s so important to not only be conscious of the words we choose when affirming our good, but to become aware of how we casually use words to sabotage ourselves.”  

So the next time you almost say something like “I’m too fat, too old, too slow, remember that every cell of your body is listening. Like mom used to say, “If you can’t say anything nice (about yourself included), don’t say anything at all.”

I don’t know about you, but I find all of this pretty exciting – especially the “words” thing. Just think how much control you can have on your overall well-being by simply watching your words, whether it’s your own self-talk, or the words you read or listen to.

OK, fellow Super Agers. Let’s do this. Move your body now, feed your body well, work that brain hard, and whisper “sweet everythings” into your own ear every single day.

Are you with me?

Till next time,

Judy

My mother in the mirror

Have you had that moment yet where you glance as you walk by a mirror and see your mother? Well, let me say that it’s a little unnerving. Not because of my mother’s looks – I always thought she was an attractive woman – but because I’m not old yet. Right? Oh wait, maybe I am.  View Post

Anticipation!

Lately, I’ve been knee-deep in anticipation over our upcoming trip abroad. For me, the anticipation and planning for a trip is at least half the fun as the actual trip experience. I mean, when you start imagining what the experience will be, then you learn a little more about things to do or see, the imagining gets more vivid and enticing.

Just talking about it gives me the giggles. Why is that?

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