Spring is emerging . . . and so am I.

Don’t you love Spring? The promise of rebirth, a fresh start, things in bloom and longer days. Time to get back into the garden, do more dining al fresco, lighten up the wardrobe.

The Spring cleaning bug bit me last weekend, and I tore through my closets like a woman on a mission. I actually was on a mission – to refresh and reframe how I want to be in my new world.  And what better place to start than with clothes!  At least that’s what I thought I was doing.

Since then, I’ve been thinking that the burst of energy I had to clean out my closets might have actually meant that I was finally facing the reality that this “off career” thing is real and much bigger than just having more free time now. Shedding items of clothing that will not serve me any longer in my new life forced me to really think about change.

Many of the items I was discarding had work memories attached to them. So, for a few minutes, I let myself enjoy some of those memories. Like the teams I worked with or ran through airports with catching the last flight, or nights out with a client or colleague after a particularly successful – or harrowing – meeting celebrating or commiserating, and of course, the work we produced that I’m still proud of today.

What surprised me most was the melancholy I felt. I’ve had a couple of months now not working, and I’ve been enjoying the freedom (a LOT). It’s possible this has been what friends have characterized as the honeymoon period. You feel a little like you’re on vacation.

Then a slow simmer of something begins – or has begun – just below the surface.

I can feel it. I can’t quite name it, but it’s there. The unknowing excites me, but confuses me, too.

I know life is full of change. We can’t stop it or control it. The best we can do is accept it and let it ride, knowing that, as mom used to say “things always work out for the best.”

I used to roll my eyes when she said that and then I’d try to come up with scenarios when that wasn’t true. Of course, with time and growing up, I came to realize that she was right. Things always work out for the best. They might not work out the way you wanted them to, but ultimately, the end result is usually the best thing.

Change – sometimes I crave it so much that I’m ready to sell the house and move away. Other times, I want to keep everything exactly as it is right now with no change at all – ever. My husband just nods his head in either situation, knowing at some point I’ll land in the neutral zone again. Smart man.

“The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes,

but in having new eyes.”         Marcel Proust 1923

But, back to Spring. A new beginning, both in nature’s season, and in this new season of my life. Now that the dust is settling a bit for me, I’m ready to start learning to embrace the unknowing and see where it leads me. And, I’m so ready to take on Spring. Let the garden dance begin.

How about you? Are you experiencing any internal changes as the different seasons of your life evolve? Or are you feeling an undercurrent of change coming? I’d love to hear from you.

For now, I’m buying more fresh flowers for the house. And maybe a pretty new blouse or two. That much I can control.

As far as the bigger questions . . . I’ll let the answers emerge in time, and trust that it will all work out for the best.

Thanks, Mom.

Till next time,

Judy

6 Comments

  1. dona
    March 7, 2017 / 9:02 am

    Judy, as I was reading your message, I had a big smile on my face the whole time. It was so true, so refreshing and I could relate to everything you said. There is a scripture that says ” All things work out for the good for those who love the Lord”, that has always been my favorite scripture, especially when hardship comes my way. My mother use to say the same thing, your mother said. I love that quote by Marcel Proust 1923, “having new eyes” (fresh eyes). We are in control of most circumstances in our lives and its up to us to make the right choices when they come our way. Thank you Judy for sharing from your heart! Looking forward to Fashion Friday and all the Spring Fashions and colors!

    • March 9, 2017 / 7:48 am

      If only we listened more to our mothers at the time! haha Thanks for your comment, Dona.

  2. March 8, 2017 / 12:02 pm

    Cheri
    March 8, 2017

    Judy, I want to thank Dona for introducing you and your wonderful blog and philosophy to me about a month ago. She spoke highly of you and your endeavors to create a much needed and vital site for those of us in the “over 50″ demographic. I almost bother with blogs but so look forward to your posts every week and read and re-read them. You are a breath of fresh air to us mature women–offering some different and provocative points of view. In reading your posts, I sometimes find myself, scratching my head and saying…”hmm–I never thought about that ,” or “she makes a very good point which I will take to heart and act on–hopefully!”

    And like Dona, I loved the quote by Marcel Proust re “having new eyes.” Life is all about perspective and through what lens we choose to look.

    • Judy McLane
      March 9, 2017 / 5:07 pm

      Hi Cheri,
      What a wonderful comment — you just made my day. I’m glad you’re enjoying my blog. That makes it so worthwhile for me. And what can I say about my dear friend, Dona. She’s just an amazing human being.

      Thanks so much!

  3. Candy
    March 8, 2017 / 5:42 pm

    I too love Spring. As you so eloquently described it: the promise of rebirth, a fresh start, things in bloom and longer days. I feel the new beginnings that you described more intently in the Spring than at the New Year. I don’t feel compelled to make a resolution. I can just sit back and enjoy the return of buds and blooms and greenery. Every year like clockwork they return. In a world that is constantly changing, it is something you can always depend on. Right now the Big Reds are getting ready to bloom in my backyard and it feels so good to be a witness to the seasonal bloom. It makes me want to bloom right along with my friends in the backyard. I have been in the “off career mode” for sometime now but I remember the feeling of loss as I divested myself of the work wardrobe. Shortly after my husband retired he once said, “I miss the person I was at work.” And now… we both enjoy a life without the encumbrance of work and wardrobe and value the time that it affords us. Time to think and plan and love and do…whatever we want. It all works out for the best.

    • March 9, 2017 / 7:54 am

      Candy, your description of anticipating the Big Reds in your garden and wanting to bloom right alongside them was perfect. There is such a palpable energy that comes with Spring. And thank you for your husband’s comment and for sharing the feeling of loss in your own “off career” journey. It’s so encouraging to know that these feelings are shared by others and will ultimately all work out for the best. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *