Here I am again, sitting in a bookstore. As I glance over at a shelf of books, one title jumps out at me and lingers in my mind. “Start Where You Are.” It’s something about starting a journal. But where it hit me was in my current state of indecisiveness. You see, having been “off career,” unemployed, no longer working, or just plain retired for over a year now, I can say that sometimes having too many options, too many opportunities can result in total indecisiveness and paralysis. Let me clarify.

While I love the slower pace and getting to choose how I spend every day without competing obligations, I would also like to find my next “thing.” For example, should I commit to a volunteer position, but then that begs the question “to what do I volunteer my time.” Or should I change my fitness routine substantially in order to amp up my energy and strength to new levels, or dedicate myself to a new creative pursuit – say oil painting, or should I register for classes at a local college, or . . . ?

See what I mean? So many options. So few decisions.

Which one do I do? Where do I start?

In all honesty, while I definitely want to do everything, I also don’t want to give up my freedom. I still bristle at the idea of being or feeling mandated to a particular schedule.

I wonder if my resistance is just part of the “still early days” of not working, or am I slipping into a persistent mode of “this girl just wants to have fun.” And if I am, is there anything really wrong with that?

I recently read an article from a friend that basically ripped my generation of Boomers apart for being self-centered, narcissistic, society-and-earth-destroying creatures from another planet. And as much as I don’t want to admit it, I did find some truth in it, and in that truth, guilt.

So even though I am relishing the freedom and play nowadays, I yearn to be of value, to be of service. And not only to assuage the guilt of my generation’s missteps, but because I know I have a lot to give. A lot to share.

This issue came up among friends over the weekend, and one friend said, “yeah, it’s hard to know what to do next, and the time we have is shorter at this age, so it’s imperative that we make a decision and do something!”

So true. But still hard to know where to start.

Hence the book title that got to me: Start Where You Are.

Giving the book a little credit for getting me started, I’ve decided to take another look at journaling. Why not? I’m ready for any tool to help me out of this monkey-mind-chattering of what to do/what not to do.

I used to be a dedicated journaler . . . for years I recorded my thoughts, activities, feelings, yearnings, and goals in a daily journal. Over time, I became less and less committed until the entire effort fell by the wayside. Maybe now’s the time to reconsider.

I did a little research about the benefits of journaling and found an article in Psychology Today that spoke to when it’s most useful and beneficial to journal. Here’s a snapshot.

Journaling can have a positive effect on your behavior and well-being if it:

• Makes you step back and evaluate your thoughts, emotions, and behavior
• Explores solutions
• Brings your emotions and motivations into alignment with your deepest values
• Helps you take a definite course of action.

Now we’re talking.

I also read about keeping a journal of “Happy Moments” in which you write just before bed each night about your happiest moment from that day. I love that idea, too, and think it could shed some light on those simple things that bring you joy and might get overlooked in the busy-ness of life.

Start Where You Are. I get it. I’m thinking this journaling thing is the right next step for me. Maybe the writing, doodling, and collaging of my feeling/thoughts/confusion in one place will help clarify a few things for me.

It’s worth a try.

So there you go. Start where you are.

One last thing, just so you know I’m not one of those completely self-absorbed humans, I never, ever forget that having “too many options and too many opportunities” is something to be grateful for and humbled by.

Are you waiting to Start Where You Are?

Till next time,

Judy