The older I get . . .

. . . the more I realize that every day is a gift.  Even these shelter-in-place days.  Maybe even more so because with no distractions, we come face-to-face with ourselves in ways we haven’t before.  It becomes increasingly clear what our priorities are and what we value most in this life.  Because those are the things – the people – that give our lives meaning and joy.

Now solidly into Week 4 of the shelter-in-place directive here in California, the mind-spinning sense of dread that kept creeping up on me seems to have dissipated . . . for the most part.  I find that if I keep my head in the “now” and focus on what I’m doing today and not tomorrow or any other day or time in the future, then I’m OK.  Even feeling pretty contented. And practicing gratitude about a million times a day.

I keep reading accounts of how people are filling their days and using this gift of time to try new things, to take on long-delayed projects, to spend more family time together, and using social media and technology to maintain and even grow connections with friends and loved ones.  It encourages me to hear how we’re exercising our imaginations, being more conscious of the resources we have, loving more fully, and perhaps using this time to do less and appreciate more. 

This is where I find hope.

I do wonder though what we’ll learn collectively from all this. I wonder if when the unknowingness eases, we’ll hang on to our renewed connections to each other? To a simpler, slower pace? To a focus on what truly matters?  To a more “we” orientation instead of an “us/them” attitude that has pervaded our most recent years in the U.S? Or will we merely retreat back into our over-scheduled, activity-packed, stress-filled and divided lives where we forget these lessons like yesterday’s breakfast. 

The optimist in me believes we’ll be altered for the better.  The cynic in me rolls her eyes.  I’m sticking with the optimist, and keeping expectations in check.

I just read an article written by a psychotherapist who talked about finding meaning in situations like this. She stressed that we should not sugar coat our current reality, but rather pay attention to what we’re gaining through what we’re experiencing, and with time and awareness, find meaning in the experience of this time.

The author quoted Viktor Frankl, the Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist from Vienna, who coined and defined the term “tragic optimism” as the ability to maintain hope and find meaning in life despite its inescapable pain, loss and suffering.  Mr. Frankl called it “the human capacity to creatively turn life’s negative aspects into something positive or constructive.”

I love that.  Coupled with all the stories of our best selves shining through right now and watching those of us reaching out to others and showing up in difficult situations to serve people in need – like all our frontline health care workers, grocery workers, and others – I can’t help but believe that the negative is turning into the positive right before our eyes.

While we most certainly won’t look back on this period as a good thing, perhaps we’ll remember how it helped us shift perspectives and find deeper meaning in our connections and in our simple, sometimes mundane, and yet beautiful everyday lives.

Here’s to holding fast, staying put, and watching and listening for the gift of meaning as we heal our way out of this.

Till next time, I wish you all that is good. Please stay safe.

Judy