Whether in a one-on-one situation or in front of a group, that’s exactly what Joan Clark does. She sees you. It’s what you could say is her calling. Her calling by way of a somewhat circuitous route. After 35 years in human resources, culminating in a senior management position with a Fortune 500 company, Joan decided to “retire.” Six months in and she had already formulated plans and launched her next venture. And what a venture it is!
Meet Joan Clark, lifelong learner, life coach, visionary, and my friend.
I met Joan about four years ago, and instantly knew we would be friends. She is at once warm, engaging, fun and so enthusiastic that you can’t help but feed off of her energy.
Since she “retired” and started her new venture, she is busier than ever, so when she agreed to be interviewed for my blog, I was flattered and incredibly appreciative.
So without further delay, prepare to be inspired.
- Joan, let’s start by having you tell us about your new adventure.
Well, I guess you could call me a life coach. The difference between what I do and what might be considered a typical life coach is that I work not only in individual settings, but in large organizations with thousands of employees, and/or senior management, as well. My work also includes diversity and inclusion training/coaching.
At a fundamental level, I get people to verbalize their hopes and fears, and to imagine their next chapter. I will coach them, support them, hold them accountable, and help them to be their best selves – to achieve their dreams.
Said another way, I’ll pat ‘em on the back and kick ‘em in the butt at the same time.
It’s really about helping folks discover their uniqueness – and, equally important, to then realize that the world needs each of us, it needs our uniqueness.
In my experience, everyone wants to be seen, to be known. I recently had a gentleman in a session who said to me after the day’s work was done, “I’ve worked for this company for over 40 years, keeping my head down, trying to not make waves. And I feel completely invisible. Not only at work, but at home as well. My kids don’t really know me. After today, I feel like I’ve been given a second chance to finally live my life as me – fully and truthfully.”
Powerful stuff.
Many of us spend too many years of our one, precious life living it according to somebody else’s rules – or at least what we perceive to be their rules. When I work with people, I let them know that “I see you.” And from there, help them define what their successful life looks like. Together, we cover the essentials:
- Know who you are;
- Describe what you want to do? What is the end state you’re going for?
- Determine how you want to accomplish it?
- Create a roadmap to getting there.
- What do you mean by “diversity training?”
Workplaces have become so much more diverse, and oftentimes people are left to their own devices to try to figure out how to work together. What happens frequently is that our fears and biases keep us from connecting, and instead we retreat to our more familiar silos. This doesn’t help companies, individuals, and certainly not our country. So, the forward-thinking companies that I partner with to conduct diversity/inclusion training and/or leadership coaching understand at a basic level what the problem is but have not figured out how to address it.
When I say diversity, I’m not just talking ethnicities, but different thinking styles, cultures, genders and the latest and greatest – age. More often than ever these days, there can be as many as five different generations trying to work side-by-side. And the mindsets of each may have opposing work/life ethos, life stage values, experience, and skills.
Not to sound repetitive or too simplistic – because it’s anything but simple – but again, the underlying issue is usually around the need to be heard, to be seen, to be respected, and to be valued for their contributions.
- How did you come to discover that this is what you were meant to do?
First, let me say that my background did not give me the tools or vision to be where I am, doing what I’m doing. I was raised in rural Kentucky, in a low-to-middle income, uneducated community with no diversity whatsoever. I grew up in a broken home, with no reading, no culture, no support, and at the same time, it was a very conservative and strict Baptist household. I was taught that my #1 role in life was to make a man happy.
I believe what brought me out of that environment to where I am now are the three guiding pillars of my life: 1. I love to learn; 2. I love people; and 3. I have always felt a strong drive to make a difference in this life.
Without even knowing it at the time, I was always open to possibilities. And my natural curiosity kept me going, kept me putting one foot in front of the other.
When I was 25 working as an administrative assistant, my boss saw something in me that I certainly didn’t. He knew I had an aptitude and a willingness to learn, and so he challenged me to try a college course. He said if I didn’t love it, he would never bug me again about taking another class.
Well, as they say, the rest is history. I took one class, fell in love with learning, and never looked back. I owe so much to that man who saw something in me and took the time to give that young woman the nudge she needed.
Honestly, I think what he did for me is what I’m still paying forward. I want to sow a seed in others to help them bloom and grow as the amazing human beings they are meant to be.
- Speaking of sowing those seeds, how do you work with people? What is the venue or format? 1:1? Workshops? What age groups? Women vs. men?
All of my work is essentially 1:1 regardless of whether the venue is a conference room full of people, a workshop, or one person at a time. It’s vital to me to convey to each person that “I see you” in order to make that important connection. This helps build trust, and they have to trust that I have their back and best interests at heart before they can fully accept my guidance.
Age, gender, race – none apply. All of our issues may be a little different on the outside, but ultimately, we are all very similar – especially when it comes to our basic needs and desires. The bottom line is that we all want and need to be recognized and accepted for who we truly are. My approach is customized to the specific issues, challenges and objectives of each person, but underlying it is what we all have in common. I actually find that so reassuring. We’re really more alike than different.
- What is the most common reason or need that brings people, especially midlifers, to you? What are they searching for?
They come to me feeling stuck, confused and unhappy. It could be the result of a new phase in their life, or an impending change like a promotion, retirement, or divorce. They might’ve just lost someone close, or a job, or are dealing with health or relationship issues. It’s just the stuff of life, and for those of us with fewer years ahead of us than behind, time is the great motivator. Sort of the “if not now, when” scenario.
- Are there similar self-limiting obstacles that women in particular inflict on themselves?
Well, I have found the most common self-limiting beliefs have no gender preference. Except when it comes to self-care, women are the great deniers, usually putting themselves at the bottom of the to-do list.
Other than that, it’s usually the “not enough” syndrome. They feel they’re not smart enough, young enough. Or their best years are gone and they’re too old to do something new.
And the other favorite: “I can’t change because this what I’ve always done. It’s how I was raised. What would people think?”
- What do you most often recommend for those who are struggling with these issues?
Put your own mask on first! In other words, don’t wait for an emergency to take care of yourself. Do it so that there’s more of you to take on your own life and to care for others, rather than running on empty and never feeling filled up.
Einstein said “You can’t solve a problem using the same thinking that created the problem in the first place.” Look outside yourself. Enlist help! Get a coach, a friend, a mentor to ask questions, so you can figure out the right answers.
Start with the end in mind. What would “unstuck” look like? Develop a plan and find an accountability buddy.
Most important of all: Celebrate all your successes and be kind to yourself.
- How or do you incorporate any spirituality component into your coaching/workshops? How is that typically received?
When I speak of spirituality, I’m not talking about religion. In my definition, spirituality is being connected to and drawing strength from a higher power – however you define it.
When you get clear about your purpose, you give yourself permission to be vulnerable, and to me, that is connecting to your spirit.
It is never the same for any two people, and is a vital part of life for each of us to define.
Most importantly, spirituality is believing that you’re enough.
Thank you, Joan. Speaking personally, I never leave our times together without feeling completely seen, heard, and loved. You’re the best!
Till next time,
Judy
That was truly eye opening and hit me hard. What a wonderful gift Joan has to share with others. We need more people like her. Great blog Cheem !!!!
Another “nail on the head” hitter! Thank you Judy!