My niece, Lauren, always says to her two little daughters “Make a good choice.” I just love that. I think it is such an empowering way to corral “spirited” behavior without diminishing those little spirits. And it’s teaching them to be confident in making their own choices, and in learning there are consequences for every choice.
I think I may need to adopt this as my new mantra. Make a good choice, Judy. Do you really need that 2nd cookie or glass of wine? Make a good choice. Do you really need another new top or pair of jeans or shoes? Make a good choice. Better yet – make a good choice before you say what you really want to say to someone and think about it first.
Ever since I heard Lauren say that to her first little girl, I thought “Gee, I wish I had learned that line when I was younger.” I think about the years and mistakes I could’ve saved had I been more conscious about the choices I was making.
Like many women my age, I was taught or encouraged, either with a subtle nudge or outright push, to take my lead from others – parents, teachers, husband, employers, the church. So, rather than learning how to independently make a good choice for myself, I learned to be more concerned about pleasing others with my decisions or choices.
Over the years, with enough life experience under my belt, a lot of that has changed. But if I’m being perfectly honest (and I am), some of it still lingers. As the baby of the family, I was always eager to make choices that would win the approval and admiration of my older siblings – and to this day, a little of that remains. However, (pause here because I can feel each of them chuckling as they read “however.”)
However, age and life experience has a way of lessening the drum for approval to a distant hum instead of a deafening roar. Thank goodness. I can’t think of a greater waste of time – limited as it is – than twirling about hoping that someone else’s opinion of your choice aligns with your own.
It’s your life. Live it as you choose.
But . . . back to my new mantra – “make a good choice.” I think the implications for it go much deeper than an extra cookie or new pair of shoes, don’t you?
As adults, so much of what we do everyday in our own little world is more routine than conscious, more obligation than choice. And before you know it, the days and weeks and more have piled up and are filled with the fodder of those obligations and routines, and not enough choice.
Think of how much better off this old world would be if everyone took it to heart every single day, in countless moments, to make a good choice. There’s too much evidence daily of reaction – unbridled and thoughtless – than action born from consideration. And sadly, we’re probably all a little guilty of it.
So, in addition to using my new mantra (thank you, Lauren) to slim my waistline or fatten my wallet, I think the better use is to choose to be positive, choose to not let age hold me back, choose to love as deeply and fully as I can, and every once in a while to choose that cool new pair of shoes or the chocolate covered coconut macaroon.
Because life is short. Make a good choice.
Till next time,
Judy
I heard Myron’s brother say this to his then college age son – “Make good choices son.” It struck me the same way. What a trusting and noble declaration to a young adult or a child and what a mantra for the rest of us for the rest of our lives!
Thanks for reminding me of how much I loved hearing this and for helping me see the relevant applications. BTW, sometimes another glass of wine IS a wise choice!!!
Yes on the shoes.
This is so true Judy. In the Bible it’s called reaping and sowing. These little girls are blessed to have a mother teaching them the power of choices and the consequences. We reap what we sow, at least 99 percent of the time. Thank you for reminding me of the freedom of choice we have.
Great piece, Jude. You’re not the only one who got that “nudge” to follow someone else’s lead. It comes with the territory. I was just too stubborn to listen. But I did get a kick out of your siblings comment.
Judy, I received two bobbleheads as gag gifts at Christmas. One was Charlie Brown and one was Snoopy. As you might expect, Charlie Brown’s head bobbed side to side (negative) and Snoopy’s bobbed up and down (positive). I set them side by side on the windowsill in my kitchen. Each day when I looked at those characters, I realized my attitude was my CHOICE–positive or negative. Haha. I even wrote a blog about it. It’s April…and I still have those guys on my windowsill. Life really IS all about choices.