Just be you.

Have you ever had one (or many) of those times when you stress out over some interaction – whether it be at work, with friends, or even strangers – when you react in a way that is not truly reflective of your best self? Rather, it’s more of an over-reaction, an act of what you think is expected of you in that moment, or just an avoidance tactic?

No need to answer because I know that we have all “been there, done that.”

This was brought to mind a couple of weeks ago when a friend and former colleague of mine was telling me about a stressful call to a client that she had to make. She was explaining how and why she became so nervous when speaking to this particular client. Feeling disrespected and unappreciated can do that to you. She felt sure that she would be judged as “not buttoned up enough,” and would not be heard.

Knowing her as the stellar, smart, creative and funny person I know her to be, the only advice I could give her for situations like this that will undoubtedly come up in the future was “just be you.” In other words, own who you are or as they say, own your truth – top to bottom, inside out and upside down. Because no matter how hard you try to be perfect or what someone else wants, being yourself is the best, and really the only, possible platform to grow from.

No matter our age, gender, experience, education, we all have those moments. I’ve written about topics like this numerous times, and that’s because I’m reminded frequently – by friends, family, strangers, Facebook posts, or book titles – that there isn’t a functioning human being on this planet that doesn’t have self-doubts and a lack of confidence from time to time (unless you’re a completely self-absorbed narcissist).

It’s part of being human. We’re meant to be works in progress.

The important point here is to recognize that we are ever evolving and imperfect beings. In that recognition is the freedom to just be you, to relax and fully engage in the evolution, and then find the tools you need that will help you in those challenging moments.

As my friend continued with her story, it was clear that she figured this out pretty quickly. For her, the tool she needed was her sense of humor. Boy did she. Here’s how the call went down. After leaving a rambling message (sigh) to the cranky client that left her feeling a little befuddled, she called another client (similar stress involved). Just as she was leaving another voicemail, she spilled a full cup of hot coffee in her lap and all over her desk. Her reaction was probably a little on the #%*@! side, which, of course, was recorded and inadvertently sent to the client.

At this point in the story, I’ve doubled over laughing.

She quickly recoups, calls back and leaves another message, explaining what just happened and the purpose of her call, during which she is chuckling, joking about the situation and the previously recorded message – in other words, just being herself. The client’s response? He loved it. Said he hadn’t had such a good laugh on a Monday morning in a very long time.

Sigh of relief.

Long way around illustrating that once the worst that could happen in that situation happened, letting go of all the anxiety and defensiveness allowed the best and most authentic person to shine through.

I realize that this incident is relatively benign, but that’s where most of life happens, right?

When we decide to relax, breathe, and be true to ourselves, a certain peace prevails. And while it can be hard to do at times because some of us are hardwired to put others opinions or needs ahead of our own, to live a life fully, it’s a requirement. If it doesn’t always meet with “approval” from others, oh well.

The only parameter that we must all live within is kindness. Kindness and authenticity. What a beautiful and powerful combination.

There’s a Diet Coke commercial with a tagline that says “Just do you.” I love that. Just do you.

In this age of reality TV (which is anything but reality), and the current spectrum of crazy political theatrics (again, reality?), we need more authenticity in the world than ever before.

So, in closing, my wish for you — for all of us — is to live without any pretense, hyperbole, delusion, confusion or theatrics.  In other words,  just be you.

Till next time . . . yours truly,

Judy