Don’t look behind the curtain!

Last month, I was talking to a friend whose husband has been retired for a few years now. She was telling me that when people ask what he’s been doing, or how he fills his days, he wants to say – “I’m great, loving life. Just don’t look behind the curtain!”

This made me laugh, because I now understand what he’s saying. I almost cringe when I get those questions about my life now, as though without the pressure and stress of a job, my life couldn’t possibly be as fulfilling. But the truth of the matter is . . . it is very fulfilling, in a simple, life-loving-and-affirming way.

The “don’t look behind the curtain” line is basically saying that someone else might be disappointed with what they find there because it probably won’t be all the excitement and adventure they’re expecting of a life with no more work days.

The truth is that until you’ve made the big move to unencumber yourself from a 9-to-5 (yeah, right – 9-to-5 in who’s world?) job, you really can’t grasp how filling – and fulfilling – just living can be.

I know. I was the same. I was afraid that my “not-working life” would either be incredibly dull or I’d make it really fun and adventurous.

In reality, it’s never dull, and there are moments or days that are definitely fun and/or adventure-filled. But the real living is what happens on the in-between days. You know those days – the ones that are filled with ordinary moments. The stuff of life – caring for your home, gardening, preparing meals, visiting friends, taking walks and yoga classes, spending time on creative projects here and there, organizing and reorganizing.

The difference now is that I’m more present to these ordinary moments than I’ve ever been. Because I’m not hurrying through every day with a list that is too long and the time available too short. Seems that when you can slow down a bit and enjoy the little bits of our lives, real joy follows.

The other day I was listening to a podcast of an interview with Ram Dass. He’s 80 now. The interviewer (Oprah) asked him if he was happy. He had a debilitating stroke several years ago that left him wheelchair bound. His life is much quieter,  simpler, and more difficult in some ways than the life he led before. He’s as bright and articulate as he always was though, so when she asked him this question, he paused before he answered, “Not happy, joyous.”  Beautiful.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved (usually) those crazy, challenging, stimulating years of my work and life. And now, I’m loving these free, open, and simple days, too.

I’ll admit that I do still “listen” for that elusive life purpose that is supposed to light me on fire, and the world in turn. I have come to realize, however, that finding your purpose or that next big thing that makes you leap out of bed every morning is more subtle than in the past. I think our purpose at this stage of life is more about enlightening, exploring, enjoying and expressing yourself in whatever way you choose.

And if the “leap out of bed” moments or pathways arrive, then throw back the curtains and have at it. If not, just fill the ordinary moments with your presence, knowing that what’s behind the curtain is exactly as it should be.

Here’s a taste of what’s behind my curtain. As I write this, I’m sitting in one of my happy places, a bookstore. It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I’ve strolled through the store already and found a new book, have a nice, hot latte next to me, and am happily typing away. Not what you would call a thrilling afternoon, but so lovely.

So the next time someone asks me what’s it like to no longer be “out there” and  actively employed, I’ll just say “Well, it’s everything you think it is or want it to be.”

Then I’ll offer them a little peek behind the curtain.

How about you? Are you happy with what’s behind your curtain?

Till next time,

Judy