A couple of very dear friends of mine are struggling a little bit currently, for different reasons, and as I was sitting in traffic this week, I was thinking of them. I looked up and saw a bumper sticker on the car in front of me that said “And so it is.” That’s it. That’s all it said, but as soon as I read it, I felt a bit of calm come over me.
The feeling surprised me, and started me thinking about what the phrase was really saying.
And so it is. It might have origins in religion or other spiritual practice. I’m not sure. But, to me, it was a reminder that when trying times happen, the best thing to do is to breathe, find some calm, accept the reality of the situation, and release the emotional mind games that make your head spin. Oh, and remember that you can’t control every situation. You can only deal with it as it occurs. (Apparently those four little words really packed a punch with me.)
When I was in my 20’s, 30’s and even into my 40’s, I exhausted myself physically and emotionally so many times trying to make things “right.” If I could just work a little harder, then the job would get easier or I’d get the promotion. Or if I changed my expectations, maybe this guy would be the one.
I wanted so much to take control and make things happen that when they didn’t work the way I thought they should have, I was wracked with frustration, guilt, disappointment. You name it.
And a lot of time was spent in a fruitless pursuit of reality avoidance.
Those experiences, all that angst, were great lessons for life though. I know they gave me greater empathy for others who are now caught up in some trying situations. And they taught me the invaluable lesson of knowing that you can’t control everything, but you can calm down, accept the situation without emotion, and then decide on the next step.
And so it is.
Maybe the ability to accept reality and reframe an issue in order to deal with it constructively and with less emotion is another one of those “gifts of age.”
I hope so because my guess is that there will be more of those real-life struggles as time marches on. So it’s best to be practiced in the art of acceptance, recalibration . . . and thoughtful, measured action.
Anyway, in our crazy, busy, sometimes mixed-up and scary world, having a “stop and start over” mantra of sorts might help reframe and refocus our efforts. Certainly worth a try.
It’s amazing what words of wisdom are written on bumper stickers and in Hallmark cards these days. Ah, modern society.
And so it is.
Till next time,